Women's Disservice To Each Other
I went into motherhood knowing it was tough but I don't think I ever realized how tough it would be. Most women don't tell you the real truth about what it is all going to feel like, what the days and nights are going to entail. Is it fear of sounding harsh or unkind? Is it for fear of being seen as someone other than superwoman? I'm incredibly lucky to have a select few ladies in my life that I can call when it gets overwhelming and who won't just tell me "but motherhood is such a blessing", or "don't worry, it will get better", or worse, who will parade out their triumphs as a mother in my time of need. These women instead tell me "yeah, it really does suck, and it probably will for a little bit longer".
No one tells you how you're always going to love your child, but there will probably be many days where you don't like him. How the sound of him crying is both the most annoying and most heartbreaking sound all at the same time because you just don't know how to fix it. How you'll feel like a total failure when you can't fix it. How you'll go stand in the shower and cry and cry so that no one can hear you and wonder if you're really cut out to be a mother. How you might not feel that instant bond with your child as soon as he comes into this world that many mothers brag about. How sometimes you'll look at your partner and wonder if you'll really make it through this. How when your baby screams, you want to do the exact same thing and hope that someone will come and fix what is wrong with you, too. How sometimes you just stare at him crying and your toes curl and you wish you could just run far, far away so you can hear yourself think. How you'd give away your life savings to get him to sleep for one extra hour. How the first couple months of your babies life will be the toughest you'll have because you're doing all of this work and you don't even have the satisfaction of your baby smiling or laughing at you just yet.
How the moment that your baby does smile at you, it really does make all of those things vanish and disappear and you'll feel amazing inside- even if it only lasts for a few minutes.
All of these things are things that either myself or my few "honest" friends have gone through. And it's tough. It really is. It's nerve wracking and frustrating and overwhelming and a million other things. But then you look at this tiny human and you think, "okay, I'm fine, I can survive this day". So you put one foot in front of the other, and you scoop up your little one and you take a deep breath and you just think about the next minute, the next hour. And you survive.