Who We Were Before
A couple weeks back I asked for your opinion on where my blog is headed so that I could be sure I was providing you with things you enjoyed reading. One of the suggestions was to talk more about my marriage. If you've been a long time reader, you'll know that I married Brandon just shy of two years ago (our anniversary is in November). You can see plenty of pictures from our wedding day on my old blog.
Also if you've been a long time reader, you'll know that I really married a great guy, a really great guy. A great guy to the point that I have a friend who calls him Prince Charming (hi Amy!), and a sister who told me she'd side with him if we ever got divorced (not cool, Jen). He's supportive, he's fun, he's smart, and it doesn't hurt that he's pretty easy on the eyes. He really and truly is my best friend. I feel lucky to go to sleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning.
But still, we have our problems just like any couple. People seem to find it hard to believe that we fight. But we do. We're both very strong willed, opinionated people. We both want to be right. We both want things done our own way. And when that doesn't happen, we clash. But these aren't things that I talk about either on my blog, or in real life. It's my marriage. It's between him and I. I don't feel the need to air my dirty laundry on Facebook, or to whine to my girlfriends every time things get a little heated between us. Instead I take that energy and put it back into figuring out why we're fighting, figuring out how we can resolve it.
Do I always say sorry when I should? No. I'm incredibly stubborn and hate being wrong. Do I sometimes go to bed angry? Yes. Do I give him the silent treatment? All the time. But it's what a marriage is. A passionate relationship between two people, and if we didn't fight- if we just let everything go- I'd be worried. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and we've had our fair share of hardships.
Long before Henry came along, before we got married, I was still a girl trying to figure out who she was and where she was headed in her mid-20's. I have a hard time accepting help and suddenly here was this guy in my life wanting to help me in any way that he possibly could. I took it as him thinking I couldn't do things myself (hey, no one ever said I was sane). I had to realize that it's okay to accept help sometimes from people who really do want the best for you. I had to accept that he wasn't just going to leave me because he got bored. I had to accept that he was in this for the long haul.
Every time he did something sweet for me, or kind, or thoughtful (which by the way, was all the time), I was constantly convinced it was because he was feeling guilty about something. I was convinced he was seeing someone else. That this guy who was six years older than me and had his life together genuinely wanted to be with me because of who I was was crazy to me. I slowly started trusting him. It took him a couple of years to win my trust and I have no idea how he was so patient with me.
I look back all these years later, at where we are now and I am truly amazed at how far we have come as a couple- how far I have come individually. It makes me grateful that he stood by my side that whole time and let me figure life out. That he stepped in when I truly needed it but other times let me figure it out even if it took me the long way to get there.