How To Unplug In Only 20 Steps

image via Flickr

 I decided I needed to unplug from the world and just be with my family.  So I started with 3 hours every single night from 6-9 pm.  Do you need to unplug, too?  Just follow my 20 easy steps!


1.  It's 6:00pm.  Put down your phone and feel positive about how easy these next three hours will be.  After all, you have a really cute husband and a really cute baby to stare at.

2.  6:05pm.  Hear your Facebook notification chime and have to remind yourself that you're not on your phone right now.  It can wait.

3.  Is that your email notification?  Yeah, I think it was.  It's okay, it's probably not important.

4.  Another email?  Get up and turn your phone to silent so as not to be persuaded to check to "make sure" it's not important.

5.  But then what if someone calls and it actually is important.  Get up and turn the volume back on.

6.  Take your baby outside to distract yourself and keep him occupied for a bit.  Ahhh, fresh air!

7.  Come back in and walk to your phone out of habit.  Mentally bitch slap yourself and walk away again.

8. It's 7:00pm.  Congratulate yourself on making it an hour.

9.  Realize how ridiculous it is that you just had to congratulate yourself for an hour away from your phone.  Mentally think about still having two hours to go.

10.  Pick up your phone.  It's okay, you're only taking a picture of the baby because he's being so cute.  Do everything you can to ignore the messages on your lock screen.

11.  Phone down, volume off.  You're certain that if it were really that important, your husband would get a call too.

12.  You hear your phone.  What the?!  Remember it's on vibrate when silent.  Get up to turn the vibrate notification off.

13.  Remember that email you meant to send at work.  Get up and write it down as a "to-do" once your phone hiatus is over.

14.  Your baby is playing on the floor peacefully, your husband is engrossed in TV, and you're doing... nothing.  Now would be a good time to check Instagram.  Does Instagram really count as social media anyway?  It's just looking at pretty pictures, sort of like a magazine.  You pick up your phone.

15.  Husband gives you the side eye, so you put your phone back down.  You shouldn't have told him about your plan.

16.  It's bath time now, so you're going to be totally distracted for at least 15 minutes.  Good for you!

17.  Bath time is over, baby is all clean and smelling delicious.  And now he's resting on you.  And he looks so peaceful.  Maybe you should just reach over and take a photo.

18.  Second mental bitch slap.  LEAVE YOUR PHONE ALONE.

19.  Baby is in bed, and now you get to talk to your husband.  When is the last time you got to do that without either of you checking your phones?  Go ahead, enjoy his company.

20.  The clock just struck 9:01.  Feel triumphant.  Pick up your phone.  Apologize for leaving it for so long.

Day One complete.  You succeeded.  Pat yourself on the back and don't feel guilty about spending a little extra time on Pinterest.  You earned it.

[Tweet "You're on phone hiatus. Just celebrated lasting one hour. Bitch slap yourself for celebrating."]
LIFESarah Hartleyhumor, lifeComment