I Haven't Slept In a Year


Have you slept in the past year?  If so, I'm going to just pretend I don't know you.  I haven't slept in a year.

Okay fine, I'll admit it.  Occasionally we had nights- and once or twice even a week long streak!- where I got to sleep.  But in general, I haven't slept in a year.  When Henry was brand new, he slept, well, like a baby.  And I was thinking "huh, this isn't so bad. "  And then around 4-5 months he started sleeping through the night (those weeks that I mentioned) on occasion.  But then being at daycare would catch up with him and he'd come home filled with germs and a new cold.  So then he wouldn't sleep.  And then he'd get better, and he'd sleep again for a few days before he'd get another cold.  And this kept up until he was eight months old and started getting regular ear infections.  And by regular, I mean nearly back to back.  And since then I can count on one hand the number of times he's slept through the night.  It's always in that sweet spot window where he was just over an ear infection, just over the cold, and finally felt well enough to just sleep.  So then we had tubes put in a few weeks ago and were so hopeful that nights of sleep were upon us.  AND THEN HE STARTED CUTTING THREE TEETH AT ONE TIME.  I mean, come on.  This is a cruel joke, right?

And really, I can't blame him.  He is the one that has to go through the pain.  We just have to try and exist on little sleep.  Though I certainly wish I could reverse that.  I'd take the teeth pain so that he could sleep.  And I know he's just as tired as we are, probably more tired of just being so sick.  Sick and tired of being sick and tired, right?  But it still doesn't change the fact that when it's 3 in the morning and he's wide awake because of the pain, and won't go back to sleep until 5 am when I have to be up at 6 (looking at you, Sunday night), that I don't get a little frustrated.  That I don't want to just put him back down in his crib, walk out of the room, and drive to the nearest hotel for just a little bit of sleep.  It doesn't change the fact that I'm annoyed with him, and then annoyed at myself for being annoyed at him.

But you know who I can be annoyed at - the mom who says  to me "Oh, that's too bad that he doesn't sleep.  My baby started sleeping through the night at 2 months old and has been great since."  I have words for you.  And they aren't nice ones.

But this too shall pass.  Henry will eventually sleep through the night (I'm hoping as soon as these teeth come through), and I'll get to sleep through the night, and I'll stop wishing harm on those aforementioned mothers.  Instead, I'll just blame this entire post on sleep deprivation.