None Of Us Know What We're Doing


I'm going to let you in on a secret. I have no idea what I'm doing as a mother. None. It's all just a shot in the dark. It's all guessing and wagering and throwing darts at a dartboard. I get the sneaking suspicion that if you asked around, lots of other Mothers would say the same thing, or at least the ones who are honest.

Motherhood is a crap shoot. You strap on your helmet and your knee pads and hope for the best. You hope that you have a good partner (or support system nearby- lucky you if you have both!) who might know a little bit what he's doing (spoiler alert: he doesn't know either, but just ignore him if he tries to tell you that). You take turns guessing at problems and the best solutions. Rock, paper, scissors for if you take the baby to the doctor or let him wait it out.

And then there is the baby. Think he knows what he's doing? He doesn't. He's been on this Earth for 3 months, 8 months, one year and has no clue how things work. So when he's screaming in your face for an hour and you've fed him and changed him and rocked him and played with him and snuggled him and fed him again and made funny faces and took his temperature- just remember, he has no idea what he's doing. He doesn't know how to tell you what's wrong. He doesn't even understand what IS wrong.

So basically as soon as you become a parent, everything you thought you knew about life, everything your partner thought he knew about life? You lose it all and you start over. You're starting on the same level as the baby. Because none of you know what you're doing. But at least you're a team trying to figure it out.