Just Say "That Sucks"


Recently a friend of mine posted on Facebook that she was working on potty training her son.  She mentioned that she's had a few bumps here and there.  One woman immediately jumped in and instead of offering support or a listening ear, she started talking about her experiences with her son and how easy it was for her and how her son didn't have any problems, that he's the easiest baby in the world.

I see women do this a lot and every single time it drives me nuts.  The last thing that a mother needs when she's talking about how hard parenting is is for someone to tell her how easy they had it.  What we need in that moment is for someone to just say "that sucks".  Or if you do want to talk about your experiences, commiserate with her.  Tell her that you had a tough time, too.  Be honest.  We all know that parenting is no walk in the park.  It isn't easy.  It's really freaking hard a lot of times, and anyone who says different is lying.  Yes, some people have it easier than others.  And at some milestones, things are easier for some babies than others.  It's because babies are all different.  What is easy for one will be nearly impossible for another.  And that's okay.  But when those differences occur, there is no reason to make another mother feel worse.  We're all doing our best.  We're all trying to survive and do the very best that we can with our babies.

Keep in mind: Listening to someone is not hearing what they have to say and then immediately talking about your experience.  That is considered talking about yourself.  Sometimes all that we need is someone to really open their ears, no response needed.  As soon as I saw the conversation I sent a message to my friend telling her to keep her head up, that it'll all work out, and I may have mentioned not to listen to assholes.