Swallowing My Pride


I've never been good at asking for help.  I blame my mom for that.  Being a single mom, I always saw how strong she was (and stubborn).  It seemed that she could do it all on her own, so in turn, I've always felt the same way.  I've always been very independent and very reluctant to ask for help- or even admit when I need it.  When Brandon and I first started dating and I was living on my own for the first time in years, I often ate a can of green beans for dinner because I couldn't afford much more.  But when he would ask if I needed help, I'd always brush it off and say that I was fine.

As I've gotten older, I've always been under the impression that I SHOULD do it all on my own BECAUSE I'm older.  No one wants to be 30 years old and have to ask for help, right?  Well, I've learned that's stupid.  When I started Holl & Lane last year, I realized just after the first issue launched that I needed help in running the show.  A magazine is a BIG job and if I wanted it to be good, I needed the help.  So I have this team of women now (who work for FREE!) who are AMAZING.  I cannot even begin to tell you the amount of work that they do for me, and help me with, and just generally be sounding boards.  They have become so much more than my team members, they are my family.  H&L would not be where it is without them, I'm certain of it.

Yesterday I swallowed my pride in the biggest way when I started a Go Fund Me account for the magazine.  The past year has been financially draining for me and it got to the point where it was either ask for help, or shut down the magazine.  And we're doing SO MUCH good with the magazine.  We're truly helping people.  The emails and messages we get from people about how much a story has helped them make my day.  It felt like shutting down the magazine was just not an option.  I know we have the power to do even more, and I wanted to keep going.  So I set up a Go Fund Me account and told the story of H&L and what we want to do.  And that's when people started giving and helping me to realize that not only do people appreciate what we're doing, but they are excited about it too.  These people are all investors in the magazine.  They are who are going to help more people feel less alone.  They are the ones that are giving us a shot to see where this goes.  And I couldn't be more grateful.  They made me feel like it was okay to ask for help.

So I thought I'd put it here, too.  And if you're interested, feel free to donate as well.  And if you can't, feel free to share so others can know about H&L as well.  And just know, like I do now, that it's OKAY to ask for help.  Admit that you need it.  You'll be surprised how much people want to help you.