Recently I read a writing prompt on Hello, Neverland that really got me to think. She asked, if you could instantly change your life, what would be different? I sat and thought about that for awhile yesterday. And I sat and thought about that for awhile today and my mind was a bit boggled. What would I change if I could change anything? What new life could await me if the magic potions were mixed up just so?
The thing is, I don't know that I'd want anything to change. And not in a "my life is so fantastic" kind of way, but because I'm a strong believer in the fact that things happen for a reason (even if you have no idea what the freaking reason is right now). Let's examine.
+ I didn't want to move to PA five years ago, but we did because of B's job. Had we not moved here, we wouldn't have discovered what it was like to truly be on our own- which has brought us closer together. I wouldn't have found a new job that I enjoy. I wouldn't have began my blog (out of sheer desperation for releasing my creativity) which has lead me to begin the magazine - a life long dream.
+ After having Henry, I didn't want to go back to work. Though I still struggle with this one every day, it has also made me cherish the times that I do get to spend with him more so than if I was home every day. It forces me to put all of my other responsibilities aside so that my focus remains on him. It has also forced me to become more intentional in my day to day life. I'm better at taking charge of my day and getting things done when they need to be. And though I still wish I was home with him, I also know that this is the right thing for us right now.
+ I wish we lived closer to friends and family. And I do because things would be so much easier. But being here has forced us to really learn how to work as a team, to figure things out for ourselves without relying on our family. The three of us get to have adventures together alone. And it's forced us to make friendships in our community (though we're still working on this one). I have no doubt that someday we will be closer but right now this is where we're supposed to be (which was most recently confirmed when B got to accept a new position at his company- something that may not have been an option had we moved).
+ I want to be able to work on Holl & Lane full time. This is the only thing I'd like to be able to *poof* and change, right now. I'm so passionate about what we're doing at H&L that I want to pour all of my time and energy into it. But I know if I was able to work on it full-time, that's exactly what I'd be doing. All other responsibilities would fall to the wayside and I'd have laser focus. Great for building a business, not great for being a wife and mother. Plus, right now I'm able to save up money to hopefully someday make this a full-time career. And as I mentioned before, I'm having to be more intentional with my time and the time I spend working on the magazine. I get things done quicker because I know I don't have the luxury of time to work on them later.
So do I want to instantly change my life? No. Do I want things to gradually evolve into where we are supposed to be? Yes. And though being patient is not my strong suit, I can see the value in getting through this part of life to open up doors for our next phase.
Would you instantly change YOUR life?