A few weeks back I was invited to shoot a segment for a new TV show in Pittsburgh. Lindsey Smith, who has contributed to Holl & Lane in the past, is starting a new show called The Zest and she asked me, along with other female entrepreneurs in the city, to be a guest on the show. To say that I was nervous is a serious understatement. I had no idea what to wear. I had no idea what to say. I had no idea what to expect. I had never been on TV before and the thought of it was terrifying to me. Finding out that it wasn't live (it airs in July) helped quite a bit, but still I spent most of the morning completely freaked out.
Up until that point I hadn't really put myself in the category of female entrepreneur, or business owner. I mean, subconsciously, I knew that I was, I knew that I was running a business, but I didn't consider myself in the same realm as other women running businesses. And I think that all stems from the fact that I still have to go to a full-time, 40 hours a week job. So even though I'm busting my ass every spare minute of the day on the magazine, I was still considering it almost a hobby. It doesn't pay my living expenses, so it must not be a business, right?
Something about being in the room with other women who are running their own show, not to mention Lindsey who is just AMAZING, changed that around for me. I left the segment with my head a little higher, feeling as if I really did belong in this world. I AM AN ENTREPRENEUR. I AM A BUSINESS OWNER. I started my own business and almost a year later, it's actually thriving. It's growing. And I did that (with help from an amazing team of women). I DID THAT.
When I got back in the car to drive home, Beyonce's "Run The World (Girls)" came on Spotify. It was perfect timing. I cranked the radio up, put the windows down and sang it at the top of my lungs. And then I did it again. And after that I started to feel something else- pride. I'm proud of where I am and what I've done. I have joined the ranks of other women who are getting shit done and making things happen. I had a dream, and I went for it- just like they did. And even though 40 hours a week, I still have to answer to someone who isn't me, those other hours I am answering to myself. I am deciding the future of a business.
When I got home that day I put this on my personal Facebook page:
"Today I filmed a segment for a TV show. And I didn't die! And I didn't throw up! And I mostly didn't sound like an idiot!
I also got to meet some other awesome female entrepreneurs and it made me so damn proud of myself to have joined this community. I run a business! I'm following my dreams! I'm doing it!"