I didn't use to think of myself as a girl's girl. Growing up, I was always a guy's girl with a couple of girlfriends on the side. I typically enjoyed hanging out with my guy friends - their low key attitudes and drama-less lives were much more appealing to me.
As I've gotten older, I've come to really appreciate those female friendships that I've hung onto, especially those that I've had through so many stages of my life. When I got pregnant, these relationships became a lifeline for me, as the majority of my female friends had already had kids by this point. They were able to assuage my fears of motherhood, let me know that weird happenings were common in pregnancy, and assure me that I'd be a great mom.
I am someone who primarily keeps my innermost thoughts and feelings to myself. I don't talk about my fights with B, I don't talk about what scares me or how my life is actually rolling along. Except with the people that I do. I can count the number of those people on one hand and that number is 100% female.
Amy is someone I've been friends with for over a decade. We are an unlikely pair, and didn't particularly like each other when we first met, but balance each other out nicely now. She is the Carla to my Amy (ironically) if you've seen Bad Moms. Over the weekend she made the 4+ hour trip to visit. We spent most of the day talking about everything that we haven't been able to talk about in person for too long. We talked life and love and relationships and careers and motherhood and parenting and sex and money and all of those things that you can only talk about with those people.
As she pulled away on Sunday to start the long trip home, I felt mixed emotions in my heart.
I felt renewed, revived, like me again, having had the chance to talk to someone who truly knew me inside out and still loved me for it. And I felt an overwhelming sadness knowing that she, and the rest of those people, are so far away from me. Not knowing when I'll get that chance again.
But for now I will sit back and think about how lucky I am to have those people in my life. To have the people like Amy who will make the drive and make the call and make it count when I really and truly need it the most in my life. Who will know without me telling them when I am drowning and it's nothing that a little wine can't fix.
Who will know me. The girl's girl. The one who can count those people on one hand and feels fortunate to have them, no matter how many miles are in between.