Recently I got to thinking about deal breakers. Those things that keep some relationships from advancing while others plow full steam ahead into the future. When I met my husband, I didn't know I was meeting MY HUSBAND. I hadn't planned to fall in love and I'm pretty certain he felt the same way. We weren't in that mindset, and yet it happened anyway. He had come into my heart when it wasn't really open - and a lot of that had to do with meeting my subconscious deal breakers. The ones that I didn't really know were there.
My deal breakers are pretty straightforward and simple, and also fairly uncompromising.
+ He must be tolerant.
I am a huge supporter in letting people live life the way they want to live their lives. We only get one, so why spend it in any way that doesn't feel the best? I do, and I think everyone else should get to as well. If my partner didn't feel the same way? Deal breaker. B and I are both huge supporters of the LGBTQ community and fair rights are something that is important to us both. In addition to that, it was hugely important to me that the father of my child be tolerant. If Henry would ever come to us and tell us he was in love with a man, B and I would both be as excited as if he had told us he was in love with a woman. And that is huge to me.
+ He must allow me to dream.
If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you know that I'm a dreamer. I have big, big plans for my future and have a tendency to jump from one dream to another. I need someone who allows me to do that, who encourages my dreams, who supports them all. And lucky for me, B does just that. I can only assume it must be exhausting for him at times, but I've never heard anything but support from him.
+ He must be a hands on parent and shuck "traditional" roles.
I've never been one for traditional roles in a marriage, or in parenting. I believe things should be equal, that we should share responsibilities. Especially in light of the fact that we both work full-time. Again, this is something that B is on board with as well. He doesn't expect me to cook (he actually does the majority of the cooking), clean, and take care of the baby. We share these jobs. And he is incredibly hands on as a parent. I've never had to ask him to get up in the middle of the night, or to change a diaper. He does it because he's also the parent and doesn't believe it should all fall to me. Plus, he just really likes his kid.
Those are my three deal breakers. And though they wouldn't be important to everyone, they're important to me. But I'm curious, what are YOUR deal breakers?