At 30 weeks pregnant, I can barely remember the nausea of the first twenty weeks. Maybe this is what people mean when they say you forget all of the hardships of pregnancy and it makes you more willing to do it again. (Note to Grandmas: We're done after this one, don't get your hopes up.) When I was pregnant with Henry, I was sick right up until the very end so I never got enjoy this honeymoon period. But this baby is taking it a lot easier on me.
I've been thinking a lot about how differently things may go this time around having been through the newborn/non-sleeping infant phase once before. I know all babies are different, but there are at least as few things I'm sure will just be easier.
1. We'll know when to speak up and demand action from our doctors. Henry rarely slept through the night the first 13 months of his life. Yes, for over a year, we were waking up nightly. But as soon as we fought to put tubes in his ears after literal back to back ear infections, he started sleeping, well, like a baby. We also knew he had reflux for far too long before he was officially diagnosed and put on medication. Not this time.
2. I'll be more willing to listen to my mother's intuition. With Henry, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Sure, I had an inkling here and there but I always let others tell me what was best or what I should do, even if I felt it was wrong. And you know what I learned? More often than not, I was right. He is, and this one will be, my child. And who knows better than a child's parents?
3. I'll know what to expect (and not expect) going into labor. The unknown had to be the most terrifying part of giving birth. I had no idea how much it would hurt (a lot), what recovery would be like (painful and gross), and what to expect the first time I laid eyes on my child (you don't always feel that love at first sight feeling).
4. I won't put so much pressure on myself. The first time around I thought I had to breastfeed. It's just what "good mothers" do, right? Not to mention, I thought that Brandon would be disappointed in me if I couldn't. Well, it turns out that putting that kind of pressure on yourself can lead to pretty severe depression and not a lot of love for your child. I don't like nursing (or, at least I didn't with Henry), and that shouldn't be something to be ashamed of. As long as the baby is getting fed, that's all that matters. Brandon has already said he doesn't expect me to even try. I'm going to give it a shot but if there's an inkling that it's not going to go well, I'm not going to push it. I'd rather enjoy my baby than try to force something on us both.
I want to enjoy this ride a bit more this time around and I'm hopeful that with a bit of knowledge in my back pocket I'll be able to. So, here's to the next 10 weeks. Here's to daydreaming if this little one is a boy or girl to come and steal our hearts. Here's to a complete shake up of life as we know it. We can't wait, little one.