Henry-isms, Vol II

Life with a three year old is both amazing and frustrating.  He certainly shares my independent streak which makes me want to scream - but then, how can I blame him?  But the other thing about life with a three year old?  It's so fun.  I laugh hysterically every single day at the things that he says or does.  Watching his mind and creativity develop is absolutely incredible - something I could only have ever dreamed about.  A few of my favorite "Henry-isms" as of late:

While searching for a weekend movie for us all to watch, he spotted Ghostbusters (the new one):
Me: I don't know buddy, I think that will be too scary.
Henry: Don't worry Mommy, I'll protect you.
For the record, he loved that movie and didn't get scared at all - maybe it really was me who was the scaredy cat.

After an "incident" when he was playing with his friend Jackson who was in tears and said Henry hit him, Brandon asked Henry if he did hit him and he said no.  So then, we set out to explain the difference between "true" and "not true":
Me: If I say that the wall is blue, is that true or not true?
Henry: True
Me: If I say that my shirt is black, is that true or not true?
Henry: Not true
Brandon: So Henry, did you hit Jackson?
Henry: Not really..........
Me: Henry, if I say that you hit Jackson, is that true or not true?
Henry: True
Me: If I say that Daddy's shirt is red, is that true or not true?
Henry: Let's just keep eating *goes back to his chicken nuggets and gives us the cold shoulder*
Lesson learned?

While on vacation, we took him to see a dolphin show at the Georgia Aquarium.  The trainer for the dolphins explained that dolphins don't have noses and that they breathe through their blowholes.  A few minutes later:
Me: Look buddy, do you see how she is riding on that dolphins nose?
Henry: Dolphins don't have noses, Mommy.
I figured he didn't understand the part about them not having noses.  Shows what I know.

After being a crazy three year old, Brandon grabbed Henry to calm him down and told him to look him in the eyes when he was talking to him.  A few minutes later when Henry got frustrated with Brandon for something:
Henry: LISTEN TO MY EYES!
Along the same lines, Henry has recently started telling Brandon he has a bad attitude.

While sitting at dinner, I was trying to explain something to Henry:
Henry: You shouldn't talk with food in your mouth.
Yes, sir.

While eating dinner last night:
Me: What'd you have for lunch at daycare today?
Henry: Nothing. I starved.
Might need to have a talk with daycare?

Something I say often, and should probably quit is "calm your shit".  That is now Henry's catch phrase.  And sadly, he knows how to use it correctly as he's told both Brandon and I to "calm our shit" when he's mad at us more than once.  We've explained to him that he is not allowed to say that to anyone else, but I'm waiting for the call from daycare.

Also, while on vacation, he managed to "pick up" an older girl by waving his new Star Wars book in her face.  They then went to sit down together and read it.  I don't think any man has ever picked up a woman by talking about Star Wars.  And yet...