It's been nearly two months since I left my corporate job to stay at home with my boys and run the magazine from the comfort of my bedroom. I don't know if it's because I only went back to work for two weeks following my maternity leave, or if that's just how life goes when you stay at home, but it feels like I've been gone from the corporate world a lot longer.
I had no idea what to expect when we decided I'd stay home. I figured it'd be hard, I figured I'd be tired, but I wasn't prepared for the past two months. The amount of joy mixed with frustration on a daily basis continues to amaze me. One minute I'm thanking the heavens that I get to be home with these two beautiful little boys. The next minute I'm wondering what in the world I got myself into.
So, to say it's been hard is an understatement.
My days consist of constantly being needed by one or the other until that sweet, sweet 45 minutes in which they both miraculously take a nap at the same time and I can breathe (and eat) for the first time all day. I watch the clock until my husband gets home, and I may have broken out a beer at 3:00 in the afternoon on occasion. I can never get work done for the magazine and I have fallen scarily behind (my magazine sales showing the results of that).
But my days also consist of playing "Go Pup", taking nature walks, watching my son ride his bike, coloring, snuggling, watching Harrison learn to grasp objects and sit up on his own and watching the brother bond develop.
I don't know what the future holds, if I'll be able to continue to stay home or not. But I am so, so grateful to have this time. No matter how often I want to pull my hair out, or how often I wonder why I did this to myself, there is nowhere I'd rather be than at home with my boys.