Henry : 5 Years

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Dear Henry,

Today I sit and think about the first time I met you. The doctor pulled you from me after a relatively easy labor and shouted “It’s a boy!”, and I burst into tears. I was so happy you were who I dreamt of. They laid you on my chest and you immediately stopped screaming and stared up at me with those beautiful blue eyes you still have today. I couldn’t believe it - you were here, and I was a mom.

The past five years with you have been my favorite. From the time you were a baby until now, you are my little buddy, my favorite sidekick, and exactly who I hoped you would be. You are smart, loving, adventurous, fun, sweet, empathetic, and so kind. You have a huge heart and I’m beyond proud of who you are becoming.

I will never forget when your cousins Adam and Beth got married. Your cousin Bea was having a tough time at the reception and we watched you go up to her, say something to her, and suddenly she was smiling and you had grabbed her hand dancing together. That is who you are.

You are the reason I survived the first year with Harrison. That isn’t dramatics, it is just fact. You brought light into my life when I needed it the most. At the end of the day, I had you to make me smile, to hold, to remind me that I could do this. You gave me the strength I didn’t think I still had.

When I look at you now, I see me. A shy, easily overwhelmed soul with a need to be around people… for a time. I can watch you and feel what you’re feeling. I can see when you need a minute to step back and reset. I can see these things because I do the same thing. Watching these traits in you is fascinating.

This year you will go to kindergarten and I am not ready to be away from you all day. The last year I’ve gotten to be home with you after I left my job and I regret that I wasn’t able to do this sooner - to watch you grow up first hand, rather than to hear about it from daycare. Our times when it’s just you and I while Harrison is napping are some of my favorites - art hour, playing board games, or simply watching a movie together. I love it because it’s with you. So marching you off to school this fall to begin your education journey is not something I am ready for. But, I know that you are.

I don’t know how Harrison will handle this change. The relationship between the two of you is my very favorite thing in the world. I’ve said time and again that I was worried about how you would react to a sibling after 4 years of being the only one. But you are the very best big brother I’ve ever seen. Helpful and patient, kind and overwhelming loving. The look on your guys’ face when you see each other first thing in the morning or after a nap never fails to make me grin. You’re just so happy to be together. And as Harrison gets older and can play with you more, I can’t wait to see what types of mischief you two get into.

Henry, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to be a mom. But I could not imagine not being your mom. You are the absolute light of my life and I am so glad that I get to be the one to watch you grow up. Your intelligence, humor, empathy, and yes, okay, your looks, too, are going to get you really far in life and I can’t wait to see what you do to change the world.

I love you, Henry. Thank you for being exactly who you are.

Love, Mommy

Several of my favorite pictures from the last year…